I’m not even sure how to process this… So it’s just going to be ummm….

About 11:15 I see a number run across my Garmin and I was like what the heck?

It’s been less then 48 hours and you are already messaging me?

It was basically just to say hi…

But was it because I left you on read?

Was it because you’re thinking I’m actually listening to what you are saying and moving on and that scared you?

Is it because you want to keep me close enough in case you decide you want to try?

I don’t know but I know that I am not going to get my hopes up… Because when I do I build “us” up in my mind and nothing really comes out of it…

So… In the middle of the night last night I decided to make this year about getting out of debt… finding myself and getting healthy…

I can’t say that if he came back and decided that he wanted more and actually wanted to put in the work that I wouldn’t give him a chance but I can say that I’m not going keep holding on thinking that it is actually going to happen… I’m also not going to build my life around the thought that we might work out.

So I’m going to work on me… my house… my debt and just live my life because we only get one chance at life and I’ll be damned if I sit around waiting on someone to pick me and not actually live my life…